Praying for My Own Blueberry Girl

...Dull days at forty, false friends at fifteen;
Let her have brave days and
truth.
Let her go places that we've never been;
Trust and delight in her
youth.

Ladies of Grace, and Ladies of Favour,
And Ladies of Merciful
Night,
This is a prayer for a Blueberry Girl,
Grant her your Clearness
of Sight.

Words can be worrisome, people complex;
Motives and
manners unclear.
Grant her the wisdom to choose her path right,
Free
from unkindness and fear.

Let her tell stories, and dance in the rain,
Somersaults, tumble and run;
Her joys must be high as her sorrows are
deep,
Let her grow like a weed in the sun...

sometimes i forget...

that i am a free
to choose...
to dream...
to imagine...
to create...
and to achieve anything i put my heart to!













so i choose to remember!

guarded hearts

what is it you protect
behind this fortress of yours
that despite the months
you have still been comfortably cautious

i am on one-brick-window-basis of your life
gradual releases of your choices and journeys
pushing out a brick enough to peer through
and then putting it back in

i reckon exhaustion is setting in
of having kept these walls, years counting
so come rest your hand on mine,
and allow me to balm your wounds

hush, dear thinker
draw near and lay your weary head
all is well, your baggage is safe on my watch















that is if you let me

photos are from The Drifter and the Gypsy blog

our story to tell

now i know that I have an "emotional maturity dam"
its that "thing" that holds and controls my emotions
because of it the surges of anger or happiness can be...
uhmmm..."managed"

yesterday that dam cracked and control was shaky
but thankfully my dam was stronger than I thought
it was able to hold on with just a few spills here and there
otherwise it would have been a very bad situation for me

in times like this I do have to be grateful for something
if it wasn't for the circumstances, i wouldn't have had an "opportunity"
funny how i manage to put quotations in words that are more than what they seem
this is my dam in control - hehe

yes, yesterday i was given a peek into a beautiful mind
it was like taking a tour into a different universe
filled with supernovas, quasars and black hole
a journey of the past, present and the possible future

the drought of unrestricted natural conversations has ended
my thirst for enganging dialogues has been more than quenched
over a few rounds, sausage and a sansrival cake,
i was able to believe once again...

at the end of the day its not about how much "work" you have accomplished
but rather the relationships you have with people
the fulfilment that you have given something good in someone's life
and in turn add value to your existence

to "you" thank you...
for the time and the spontaneous exchanges of stories
in them I realized that we all have a story to tell
and in these tales we learn that our experiences are indeed the best teacher

a daily ritual

i am experiencing a new kind of dance.
because of it, the thirst for significance
and drama is quenched on a daily basis.
it gives me a longing to get up everyday
just to experience what the next episode is.
each day brings out new things,
the constant discovery of what we have in common.
it's cute in it's own cheezy way.
from therapy moments. to relationship set-up and today music.
i am looking forward to our conversations in the days to come.

maybe this is what I should learn,
to enjoy the daily revelations.
to be patient, and enjoy this ride.
spontaneous and unhurried.

so this prayer, Lord I say...
AMEN!

HOW...

despite the friends and their reassurrances
the family and their consitency
work and career to get busy with
why do we still feel alone?

at the end of the day
we wish there was someone
to rant to then cuddle
to cook for
share stories with
laugh and cry
or just be silly with
add in some snaps for documentation

sadly, what i thought was a simple part of life
has ended up to be wait...a very very long wait
for countless wandering wanderers

which makes me ask,
is there a shortage of the opposite sex?
do we go and search for love or wait for it to find us?
how do we distinguish a stupid risk from a risk that we need to do?
why does it seem so complicated, or was it us that made these complications?
im tired of asking, waiting and second guessing!!

can someone just tell us...how?

excuse me you're blocking my goal

I learned how to ride the bike
by looking straight into the distance
keeping my eye on a focal point --
the destination.

i had been walking a thin line
the past few months,
and what kept me balanced
was that I had my eyes on something.

today some situations
blocked my view of the destination
and I felt the cold panic
of falling to the ground.

step away from my goal please
your casting a shadow on it
and it's making it look dark
and it's not how it should be.

i need to be bright and inspiring
especially during these times,
so I can work at full capacity
despite all the odds!

August Rush

this month sems to be going by so fast
which works for me and my countdown
81 days till i go back to "my 2nd home"
yipee!

and i'm bringing people to come and join the fun
let's see if the legend stands true,
that once one has a taste of the waters of Sabah
that they'll keep coming back for more

at day's end

there's that wish
that each time I turn the knob
someone is waiting
with hugs and kisses
that brushes the day's pain away

that you would be there
cause today i came home
missing you terribly

sense in this madness

there is still a big question mark above all this
i don't know where things will take us
but i do know i am enjoying the new you
be safe and well is my daily prayer for you

hopefully there will be sense in our madness

no time

so much i want to write about
like my recent trip back to kota kinabalu
the new job that is really keeping me busy
or my new crushie with a face that will never look sad

i could also tell you about the realizations i've experienced
one being that my mind can walk away, my heart is holding on

so many many things
i just dont have the time!