if I blink

will it take me there?

to the train tracks

below the wind

I ask questions that sometimes I know the answer to. I ask them for the mere reason that the act itself might change the outcome. It's the child in me not wanting to grow up or take no for an answer.

Yes I am falling once again. Maybe not at the man that you are but at the thought of someone being there. Of you possessing traits of the weary traveler that my heart patiently waits for. At the patio this heart has been sitting, and longing for someone to open the gate.

You appeared and held on to the gate, I look up. I see you standing there, behind you a river with waves of hope, a blue & white rubber boat and paddles. After a few exchanges you fell silent. No words not even the slightest movement. Should I move forward, take your hand and usher you in? Or better yet, I wait for you to take that step forward or for you to stretch your hand out to signal me near. This is not the first time there is a man at the gate. By now I know that He sends out messengers to teach me to know the difference between desperation and when it is time. So till you do I shall be thankful of the shadow of who you could be.

I do not suffer because of your presence but instead I make you an inspiration of how it feels when my weary traveler pushes the gate open and says I am home.

Situations...

I can once again write my thoughts down in my own sanctuary, at my own time with the comforting hum of my choice. I have missed this potential.

It could be a season, a few months or even days for us to realize what it is that we need to learn before our lives can start flowing again. They call this phase the rut or as a song goes, being stuck in a moment. I haven't fully grasped what it is that I need to learn at this time, but I am definitely stumped at this rotunda where stand in the middle confused. Weeks ago it seemed the direction was clear and that by this time I would have made a letter that would be my ticket to a new life, a fresh page. But here I am , still in the same room, writing my emotions out.

Oh grant me the patience to wait and the wisdom to make the right decisions as the situation calls for it.

Lasting Friendship

When Gemini girl gets together with Sagittarius guy, it's not just a match made in heaven, it's a lasting friendship. Sagittarius boy will fill your head with grand dreams and visions about travel and all sorts of exciting adventures, and you'll love every minute of it. Just remember that when you act as a team, dreams and visions can become realities.

to expect is to set yourself up for disappointments
i like this to unfold the way it should, not the way i want.

Beautiful Surprise

Whatever it is that you came to teach me
I am here to learn it cause
I believe that we are written in the stars
I don't know what the future hold
But I'm living in the moment
And I'm thankful for the man that you are, you are, you are
You are everything I ask for in my prayers
So I know my angels brought you to my life
Your energy is healing to my soul
You are a beautiful surprise
You are an inspiration to my life
You are the reason why I smile
You are a beautiful surprise
-India Arie


these emotions i have for you. this like have for you. nothing can change it. heck i didnt even ask for it. i saw you and kaboom!

so you dont have to say or do anything you don't feel like doing or saying. i am happy admiring you from this distance. just be who you are. cause i know that you are a messenger and the inspiration that i need in my life right now. i will let time tell me why He let our paths cross. by then the reason shall be clear.

my other A

never give up on the possibility,
because eventually you will know if its right or not.

so there I was again wearing my heart out on a sleeve.
knowing it could get hurt.
but I rather risk the possibility of that than letting an opportunity pass me by.

to you my other A,
thank you for showing respect and
not just pouncing on the chance.
indeed you have shown content in the life you have.
you have jumpstarted my heart once again.
inspire me some more.

There he was...by the train tracks

he was good looking.
so good looking,
I couldn't stop staring.
Photos check!
Videos check!
But it was like a mere vial to taste.
After this trip and I resume my life as a corporate slave,
He will be nothing but photos, video and a wonderful story to tell.

I am getting tired of stories.
I am tired of mere taste-only vials.
I deserve a buffet!
A lifetime supply of whatever it was I felt today.

forced hiatus....

a brief retreat while i hold on to the fragements of this so-called-job.
i guess we don't always get what we want.
we are supposed to embrace change,
it is the only constant.
so hush...

flicker and fade out?

the resources and the challenge is running low. and i feel like the fire of passion is wavering. the never say die attitude is itching to make changes and yet certain decisions are not for me to be made. i have done my part though. i will hold on though until my fingers are all numb and then i shall let go. then maybe i can unleash my free spirit and let my wings take me to greater heights.

Apparition

yes...i blogged after a loooooooong time.
they finally and officially blocked blogger at work.
no more rants while in the office.
no more photoblogging.

boo.

Gimme back Blogger please..

we thought we almost lost you!
i couldnt handle that.
thanks G...
I am no longer a failure
hee...

Look-alike

he looks like my supahstah
though allan wu is singaporean
and my supahstah is malaysian
they really look-like. the smile. the eyes. the dimples.
i think i will be a fan of amazing race asia from now on.
aiyooooh!
hee hee

Enough Already!

I don’t want to compete with you.
I don’t want to step on your toes.
I do want to talk with you.
And I do want to understand you.
But how can I, if you refuse to speak with me.


Why do your friends criticize me physically?
I’m not trying to win a popularity contest
I find contentment in the friends I have kept

You wear me out.
What do you really want?
Just please tell me.
Once and for all.

Today I realize...

I might have almost given up,
but i didn't allow her to ruin my spirits.
Now I have a sense of peace,
in who I am and what I can be.
Not that I am better than her,
but rather because I am blessed.
With the maturity to cope and
friends that help make me a better person.
Not people that support me blindly.
But those that are not afraid to tell me
I am wrong.
That's how they look out for me.

And this is why I love them.
you guys know who you are.

This is the song playing over and over...

ME
by Paula Cole

I am not the person who is singing
I am the silent one inside
I am not the one who laughs at people's jokes I just pacify their egos
I am not my house, my car, my songs
They are only just stops along my way
I am like the winter
I'm a dark cold female
With a golden ring of wisdom in my cave

And it is me who is my enemy
Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters
Me who strips my confidence

I am carrying my voice
I am carrying my heart
I am carrying my rhythmn
I am carrying my prayers
But you can't kill my spirit
It's soaring and it's strong
Like a mountain
I'll go on and on
But when my wings are folded
The brightly colored moth
Blends into the dirt into the ground

And it's me who's too weak
And it's me who's too shy
To ask for the thing i love
And it's me who's too weak
And it's me who's too shy
To ask for the thing i love
That I love

I am walking on the bridge
I am over the water
And I'm scared as hell
But I know there's something better
Yes I know there's something better
Yes I know, yes i know, yes i know

That I love
But it's me
And it's me
But it's me

Disharmony, Dis Stress!!

you can have the spotlight if you want
i dont need the stress anyway
there are other ways for me to earn this
in more fun ways
by marketing i can even travel
be with people
that at the very least,
know how to take it slow.
here. have it all!

but then again i pity you
those emotions must be tiring
does frustration accompany it too?

well then walk on by
in your tree-less journey
while i soar the skies
on these spirited wings.

Sinaksaksagol

the mind is racing, make it stop
jumping from one topic to another
why can't i just focus?
from saturday's wedding
to the training meeting on friday
even finding a job that takes me travelling
ambot oi....
ang gulo...
even my languages are mixng up.
aiyooo!

Am I Up for This

blag!
a challenge
laid on the table
now i really do need
to get my act together
but then again
is this what i really want
for the long run?

Just when...

you thought he was in the past...
he just pulls you right back
with a short but warm message
that makes your heart melt

after months of nothing

'toopid boy!
or should it be stoopid heart
for once again being giddy
yes you have that effect
argh...

New Friend

j went online today and i wasn't able to catch him by a few minutes. he did leave a message though. i hope i get to see him online again soon.

here's the story of how the dreamcatcher
and the dragon empress met j.
to amuse my travel buddy while waiting for our turn at the immigration line of the hongkong airport, i kinda played around with the lyrics of "manila, manila" and sang "i walked the streets of san francisco, i didn't go to disneyland" and this guy infront us turned around and smiled. we dropped a couple of hints on where we were having dinner and the "bright guy" that he is, got the cues and he ended joining us in barger keng.

he was a great guy and was really interested in visiting the philippines so of course being the DOT EAs that we once were, you can say we pimped the philippines to j. his flight to London was at 12mn and we were on the 9pm flight to manila. opposites sides of the globe. but we did manage to make sure we would be able to get in touch with one another.

thanks for checkin in though j!

somehow i like meeting travellers.
they have an aura that i can relate to.

New Information

I learned a new activity that can be used to promote probing and asking the right questions. It is called Lateral Thinking. According to Wikipedia:

Lateral thinking is a term coined by Edward de Bono, a Maltese psychologist, physician, and writer. He defines Lateral Thinking as methods of thinking concerned with changing concepts and perception.

Techniques that apply lateral thinking to problems are characterised by the shifting of thinking patterns away from entrenched or predictable thinking to new or unexpected ideas. A new idea that is the result of lateral thinking is not always a helpful one, but when a good idea is discovered in this way it is usually obvious in hindsight, which is a feature lateral thinking shares with a joke.

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Some links that I might use for work:

Two Minute Mysteries
Lateral Thinking Puzzles
More Puzzles