it's simply...magic!

stranded in a railroad station,
he glanced at me and asked…do you believe in magic?
seeing no need for second thoughts I gave a smile and firmly said...
yes langga, i believe!

because I do…

here i am far from the comforts of familiarity is where it unfolds almost everyday. from the decision to pack my bags, to the daily doses of laughter and the spontaneity of little things that seem to give out a thumbs up that indeed this is part of the journey. despite the detours and road blocks, I was meant to be on this particular track.

from laying down that one puzzle piece, the rest of the pieces just seem to fit in the grooves perfectly. everyday there will always a moment to celebrate and a reason to be thankful.

that is why i believe…that in anything there will always be an opportunity for one instance that catches you by surprise…and like being in a magic show, you scratch your head and you ask…now how did that happen? well…its magic!

Padas Rafting with a Dollop of Wine

Location:
Tenom, Sungai Padas and Beaufort
Sabah, Malaysia

24 May 2008

it was supposed to be a familiarization trip for other agents in KK but they backed out. since i might be a bit busy the next few days i decided to go on with the trip.
i did not regret that decision!

though this is my 3rd time to brave this raging river,
the experience was still different.
this time i was thrown off the raft
and was stuck under the boat.
i didnt panic and remembered the safety briefing
that i should trace my way to the outside.
but not seeing where I was,
worried my guide so he jumped in for me
thank you for looking out for me N.

also i was able to swim to the end point
with Razali shouting that I had to swim to the right
where a hand caught me followed by a voice
that said "careful langga, rocks"
sweet kan? he he he

after the ever yummy bbq lunch of kambing,
there was an extra mile of rafting to meet the speedboat
but the boat wasn't there...
so we were stranded in a Murut village with a storm brewing.
and when the rains did come,
just like those younger years
i went to dance and play in it.

leave it to the guides to think ahead,
they bought local rice wine to keep us warm
and when the wine kicked in...
we realized that Nrey can do magic
and that rubber bands can hurt real bad when you play with them.

when the boat came the rain was still pouring,
but more wine kept us warm
and after another bottle
the guides started singing any song they could remember
including I Will Survive - The Malay Version!
DVD wasnt able to make a video backup though
so no proof!!! dang it!

all it took was...
a lone raft with a mix of characters in them
1 late speedboat and rice wine
2 safety kayaks taking video and photos and
3 funny guides that made the best decision to buy rice wine

and it did not stop there...for the day's cherry on the top...

getting louis & achu at upperstar,
4 rounds of Tiger Beer and uniting the Padas Musketeers
which led to balls & sausage conversations
plus knowing the difference between macho & cute!!!
and finding out what it was like when everyone can just be themselves
as they say here in KK... sakiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!!

__________________
this post was written may 08
i had to transfer it from the other site.
must.keep.things.in.just.one.place.

Experiencing a Cultural Woodstock

Location: KDCA, Penumpang, Sabah, Malaysia

PESTA KAAMATAN: Pesta Kaamatan or Harvest Festival is a unique celebration of Kadazandusun society. It’s a celebration to honour the Rice Spirit – Bambaazon or Bambarayon and giving thanks for yet another bountiful year. The festival begins on the first of May at many district levels. The rites and customs of the Pesta Kaamatan is a tribal practice of Kadazandusun and also Murut peoples.

Excerpt from:Sabah, Culture
------------------------------------------------------------------
31 May 2008

Since May 31st was a holiday I decided to join Mami Lydia in checking out the Pesta Kaamatan Celebration in Penampang. I brought Francine along with me so she can also experience it. They was a drizzle that day. Rain being nourishment for farming made the celebration even more authentic.

It was like a cultural woodstock where the people can go from one type of tribal house to another and sample the local cuisine and best of all the local wine!! By the end of the day you indeed will have such a high spirit that you can just mix in with the crowd that has been drinking since the day before.

Another thing that I noticed was the similarity between the local Sabahan tribes and those from the Philippines. Having grandparents that always reminded me to be proud of my Minadanao roots no matter what, it was nice being with other people proud of theirs!

this post was written may 08
i had to transfer it from the other site.
must.keep.things.in.just.one.place.

Revisiting Los Banos

23 April 2008

University of the Philippine Los Banos & Intl Rice Research Institute

Went with my "new boss" to assist him in training a program
It was nice to see the familiar places
Remembering the bike routes I used to pass through
Meeting a enthusiastic soul named Pam
Getting to eat fresh yogurt from the UPLB dairy
Sadly didnt have enough time to pass by Maahas
and see my cousins...next time...

Location: Los Banos, Laguna

Where I Wear My Shoes

when you grow up an only girl and around lots of men, you tend have a need to develop relationships with other women to keep things balanced. throughout my life some of those relationships have been much deeper and you feel that despite not being born of the same parents you can call them sisters.

i have this "sister" that i don't see. it is always the ultimate question...where is michi now? but all i know is we pick out our own journeys and hopeful we can meet up and be in the same place sometime soon.
i want to share part of her journey though. she travels aroud the world taking photographs of peoples shoes. she believes that...

"I discovered that many shoes represent a person's own story book- life
experiences, exotic travels, the journey of one's soul from one place to the
next..."

so check out

http://weariwhere.blogspot.com/

then you can answer the same questions these people did. then i hope one day Michi can come home to the Philippines and she too can share tales of journeys of our shoes. for me my slippers...

Conspiracy

a couple of years ago I embraced the truth of Carpe Diem!
then I came across an author that said
"the universe conspires to those who dream!"
and it has been made true in my life over and over.

after more than 2 years, a decision had to be made to say farewell to the company that I had helped started. i went through all the emtions sliding the line from a sense of accomplishement to sadness of leaving behind certain people. but as they say when one door closes another one opens...or at a very least a window to look out too and see what lies ahead.

a week after closing the door, another has already opened and there's even a window beside it that opened up to a realling exciting view. and to those that know me, being able to spend even a month and live in my 2nd home country will be by far a dream come true.

other may see this move as flighty, an uncalculated risk or my way to escape. but to me its part of my vision. though it has taken me time to travel down the road, the journey has been rewarding.

to those that have been part of my adventures, to those I met along the way and those that are still walking (or cheering) by me...thank you.

i look back and see the rotunda of confusion and i wave a goodbye.
boldly i take my first few steps into yet another path.
scared and excited i take these emotions as fuel...
cause whatever comes my way,
I know the universe conspires to those who dream.

What's In a Name?

omg! so true! whachatink??

What Mhayness Means

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way! You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

thought gushes

i havent been writing lately. though I may not be as great some of the people I blog-stalk or those that get published, for me writing is release. it s being able to blurt things out, sugar coat or make it a tad bit interesting with metaphors.

right now on the far south of the philippine map with pockets that have one big hole and hijacking my brother's room and his 24/7 connected pc. if only i can hostage this piece of beauty back to manila, then i can blog more regularly. sounds like a plan..ehehehe.

so here i am, letting the gush take me to find back my words.


**********

christmas day. today i was a boat ride away from where he was. from the top of that hill i glanced to the right hoping i could confirm it was kudat i could see from that point. pathetically thinking if he could be capable of brewing cheesy moments like this.

in the how many times i thought i was 101% sure that i could just walk away and let time take its course, i ended up eating those words. i could also end up eating this as well, but you are different and that makes it harder to just let it go. walking to bed in malate, i told Tag, that it would have been so much easier if you were just a pretty face and a chauvinistic prick. i want you to be that guy who called me stupid. i want to be able to find something wrong in order to let go. that's me. forever romantic. its gets difficult to handle but i've been getting used to it i guess.

Work Isolation

no yahoo messenger
no external emails websensed sites
So this is how it feels like to be isolated
Cut-off from the world
To feel restricted from even having a resemblance of life
No more messages from people that can easily make you smile
No means to even have other sources of income

If this is the situation then I do have choice
To either agree to isolation or dust off my wings, take the risk and just fly…

homecoming...

this was a much anticipated vacation for me and my friend kai. the planning started when we got the tickets way back in february or was it march. and i became like a beacon for me to continue on. to stop complaining cause there was something good coming after.

the trip recharged me. that finally after months of slaving away, my spirit was able to dust my wings and i just soared off into adventure. the mission was to get lost and find my way back on a daily basis and kai just jumped in. no complaints, she was just game! and to her, I just take my hat off.

from exploring Kota Kinabalu on foot, to rafting the 7 rapids of padas and makan-inuman parties the trip was just good for the soul. kota kinabalu just stretches its arms out to whoever wants to come into its ports. such accomodating people. cheers out to alex, itay joel and dr. o for the really great welcome seafood dinner. and to the rivebug and trekkers family we have there. seeing the old people like valentine, nick, rhoms, mors and yes- andrey. and meeting new friends in lydia, mary, appal, achu, razali and ikan. you have made me appreciate malaysia even more. hope you make i here this december!

kuala lumpur was also a treat. thanks to the people that was willing to take us out to dinner (breakfast for speedyG) and drive us around at night. it was nice to find our way around in the day then relax to someone driving us during the night. from capturing, may i say ALL angles, of petronas at night as well as day, to exploring the waterworld without scuba tanks and finally tasting bak kut teh!!! to allan, ivan, nawruz& cathy, thiru, sani, abby & sarah, gary & dennis and of course my supahstah Andrew. i hope you know how much i all appreciate always making me feel right at home in my second home country. see you here in manila by october!!

melaka was a treat for the photo-hoe in me. it was just so colorful i just kept on snapping. there could have been more places to see but a couple of hours was enough to just quench the thirst of historical adventure. from churches to a huge galleon and the great lunch at the food court infront of it. no wonder explorers came to your shores.

terima kasih banyak malaysia!!

now i am at work and i find myself either giggling or just smiling when I remember how my journey back went. am experiencing withdrawal symptoms as I always do after each trip. the changes at work seem to make it even more difficult to shake it off. but i set my eyes to being able to return another time and explore more of this country i have really grown to love. from is architechture, to its food, its language and culture and most especially its people.

indeed to know malaysia, is to truly love malaysia.

my malaysia, make it yours....

four days in kota kinabalu
five days in kuala lumpur
and a side trip to melaka

to walkathons and getting lost
to rafting guides that throw you overboard and warn you of strange bananas
to climbing back onto the raft and chicken! chicken! and more chicken!
to bus # 13 and the moo inspired bus stops and animal print interiors
to durian photos and post-it filters
to green jokes and having an occasion inspired name like f___g dog
to selling the top down car but riding a roofless car
to makans and inumans
to ates and kuyas
to reunited friends and my supahstah
to foodtrips and teh tariks
to respect and admiration
to letting go and gaining back
to journeys that inspire
to malaysia
saya rindu engkau!

Wandering Wonderer

i may be confused at the moment
i may have lost my so-called map
walking with no sense of direction
but never without a purpose,
not at anytime without hope.

my aim is to persevere
my decision to never give up
i refuse to stop and succumb.

i am the wandering wonderer
i know not what the day can bring
but i know my spirit is free!!

When you do things for the money, there is no love.
Without love there is no passion.
It’s just empty.
-Beautiful People TV Series

The career is right but I feel that I am in the wrong industry.

The clothes fit, but without second thought I would trade in my heels for slippers. I love the fulfillment of teaching people new skills but sometimes I find myself not agreeing on how they use it. I love having a nice workstation, but I can be happier working on a makeshift log over looking the ocean.

If there is anything I can do that is not related to my job I am willing to do, for the reason that it can take my mind off of what I need to do.

I am a firm believer that we always have a choice. Why then am I feeling stuck?

It's Not Just Paintball...It's a Way of Life!

oh paintball...
the stories
the friendships
the mamaks
the men
the travels
i miss you!

i was going through the forums and I read a post from a paintball friend called Vegas. and it got me thinking...

and blogging....

there things in your life that you never turn your back on. one of that for me is paintball. i was never really part of any team in particular, but the doors- and windows too- that it opened up made me see life in a different way.

alot of things have changed since I embraced the sport in 2003. players have moved on to different paths, teams have re-grouped, changed names and fought for sponsorship. for past four years, the introduction of more tournaments, whether local and international have given the sport a spotlight in Malaysia and in neighboring Asian countires. from a mere weekend gathering to most friends it now has rulebooks and certified refs. all these have definitely given paintball a different face.

whether these developments are a push or pull for the sport, will always get varying opinions. but I step away and remember it as a sport that gave me a chance to know what career I want to be in, travel to and embrace my second home country and most especially it brought into my life people that taught me about life, love and othe mysteries.

they say that the best way to know a person is through a game or a sport. i would have to agree.

if I blink

will it take me there?

to the train tracks

below the wind

I ask questions that sometimes I know the answer to. I ask them for the mere reason that the act itself might change the outcome. It's the child in me not wanting to grow up or take no for an answer.

Yes I am falling once again. Maybe not at the man that you are but at the thought of someone being there. Of you possessing traits of the weary traveler that my heart patiently waits for. At the patio this heart has been sitting, and longing for someone to open the gate.

You appeared and held on to the gate, I look up. I see you standing there, behind you a river with waves of hope, a blue & white rubber boat and paddles. After a few exchanges you fell silent. No words not even the slightest movement. Should I move forward, take your hand and usher you in? Or better yet, I wait for you to take that step forward or for you to stretch your hand out to signal me near. This is not the first time there is a man at the gate. By now I know that He sends out messengers to teach me to know the difference between desperation and when it is time. So till you do I shall be thankful of the shadow of who you could be.

I do not suffer because of your presence but instead I make you an inspiration of how it feels when my weary traveler pushes the gate open and says I am home.

Situations...

I can once again write my thoughts down in my own sanctuary, at my own time with the comforting hum of my choice. I have missed this potential.

It could be a season, a few months or even days for us to realize what it is that we need to learn before our lives can start flowing again. They call this phase the rut or as a song goes, being stuck in a moment. I haven't fully grasped what it is that I need to learn at this time, but I am definitely stumped at this rotunda where stand in the middle confused. Weeks ago it seemed the direction was clear and that by this time I would have made a letter that would be my ticket to a new life, a fresh page. But here I am , still in the same room, writing my emotions out.

Oh grant me the patience to wait and the wisdom to make the right decisions as the situation calls for it.

Lasting Friendship

When Gemini girl gets together with Sagittarius guy, it's not just a match made in heaven, it's a lasting friendship. Sagittarius boy will fill your head with grand dreams and visions about travel and all sorts of exciting adventures, and you'll love every minute of it. Just remember that when you act as a team, dreams and visions can become realities.

to expect is to set yourself up for disappointments
i like this to unfold the way it should, not the way i want.

Beautiful Surprise

Whatever it is that you came to teach me
I am here to learn it cause
I believe that we are written in the stars
I don't know what the future hold
But I'm living in the moment
And I'm thankful for the man that you are, you are, you are
You are everything I ask for in my prayers
So I know my angels brought you to my life
Your energy is healing to my soul
You are a beautiful surprise
You are an inspiration to my life
You are the reason why I smile
You are a beautiful surprise
-India Arie


these emotions i have for you. this like have for you. nothing can change it. heck i didnt even ask for it. i saw you and kaboom!

so you dont have to say or do anything you don't feel like doing or saying. i am happy admiring you from this distance. just be who you are. cause i know that you are a messenger and the inspiration that i need in my life right now. i will let time tell me why He let our paths cross. by then the reason shall be clear.

my other A

never give up on the possibility,
because eventually you will know if its right or not.

so there I was again wearing my heart out on a sleeve.
knowing it could get hurt.
but I rather risk the possibility of that than letting an opportunity pass me by.

to you my other A,
thank you for showing respect and
not just pouncing on the chance.
indeed you have shown content in the life you have.
you have jumpstarted my heart once again.
inspire me some more.

There he was...by the train tracks

he was good looking.
so good looking,
I couldn't stop staring.
Photos check!
Videos check!
But it was like a mere vial to taste.
After this trip and I resume my life as a corporate slave,
He will be nothing but photos, video and a wonderful story to tell.

I am getting tired of stories.
I am tired of mere taste-only vials.
I deserve a buffet!
A lifetime supply of whatever it was I felt today.