Child-Like Enthusiasm

Odd how the picture of the guy I like becomes my computer’s wallpaper. Could it be my way to hang on to the memories? To be reminded of him constantly? I guess so. What happens then when I take it down?

Tonight I take his picture down. Since I don’t have orca pictures, I have replaced it with dolphins to remind me of the element I am comfortable in…the water. As I swap it I tell myself, it’s time to surrender to destiny once again. I confess to the fact that there was an attraction with this wonderful man. It is not everyday that I get to meet anyone like him. Someone who sincerely made me feel taken cared of. Brings me to the thought that maybe I am searching for that certain kind of kindness.

They call it a mother’s instinct, but I have always been looking out for people. I find fulfillment in it, but somehow I get to a point that I long for its reciprocation. A powerful realization and confession on my part, yet it is the truth. Once a man shows me that sort of attention, I melt and it never fails. Call it a soft spot. But the usual challenge is to be able to distinguish the genuineness of that show of sensitivity. Sadly, to some men it is nothing but a mere performance. But after meeting him and his friend I found the refreshing burst that sincerity is still possible.

With the new company up, I need to focus on our vision. And with the inspiration of you I give it a go. I now sort out that my job is reality and you are the inspiration. And when fate brings us together, then only will I really know if my feelings for you are what it seems to be. For now I content myself with the memory of a man that shared the child-like spirit. Someone who genuinely knows how to take care of a woman. You are a scarcity in this earth, and I am fortunate to have met you. Indeed what matters in this life is the company and friendships we have and then we can turn any situation into a party.

I'm Officially Missing You

your face is the first on my mind when I wake up...
and the last to leave my subconcious as I succumb to slumber...
i know not why you have this effect on me.
every waking moment the image of your sweet smile fills my thoughts
and if I had the power i would wish for you to be here
to fill my day with laughter and inspiration


yes I am a bit hooked. a weird effect by a man I had known for a very short time. yet in that brief period I felt something, beyond attraction for him. i cannot describe it. he is part rogue and part little boy. with an attitude that just seems to draw me even closer to him. when he is in his sport jersey he a boy at play. in jeans and a shirt, he's my rogue, a man that imspires me to be better. i want to understand why fate has to keep us apart. and draining as it is, i know there is a good reason. and even if the questions abound as to reciprocity, i know that I am willing to take it a step at a time.

HANGOVERed

what would you call the feeling that you long for someone the whole day? and the song "officially missing you" takes a whole new meaning.

yes, i have been stung by the so-called "bug" once again. and somehow this time it really made it's way deep, too deep that all efforts to shake it off has just resulted to exhaustion, physically and emotionally. now i'm dazed and confused. and honestly I am at a lost on how to effectively handle this. all i can say is..he got me at hello (dang! there's goes my drama once again)!

i guess i would just have to ride this through. and who knows Siargao may bring some surprises. Otherwise...I'm packing for Malaysia soon!