Feeling Small

a surge of feeling small came upon me today. the fact that one was chosen over me, seem to really affect me. why is it that I feel I am trying to compete for attention? when I very well know that I should be secured with who I am and what I can be. I'm not very proud at me when I start feeling this way. argh...

a wise saying I should prolly digest at this point is...
"It is one thing to allow one's heart to heal its wounds slowly, but it is quite another to sit all day in deep contemplation for fear of seeming weak."
--From Warrior of Light by Paulo Coelho

Heart's Desire

Oh, Great Spirit grant that which is in my heart
Clear my thoughts and calm my heart
For the past has given it some pounding
Reconcile my emotions and intellect
But nevertheless perservere for a cause
For risks in life are constant
and this i believe deserves one

You Will Be Missed

i've tried to put off me writing about this. I thought I can just let it go...but somehow it just wont go away. today while sorting out my yahoo photo album, i chanced upon his picture again. so here goes.

i couldn't really call you my close friend. but can say that you have been a part of my existence. from the handmade soaps, sanctum nights and those parties that seem to just leave us exhausted from dancing and boozed up. and who wouldn't forget Studio 54 at Greenbelt...we went from complaints to praises...who ever thought that would be my last memory of you.

weren't we all just having a great time with the music and the free beers that night. that was the weekend before I left for Siargao. i even invited you for some paintball when I get back. and that conversation we had about passing me on your cellphone since it was "the phone" i really wanted. and it would also be "the phone" that would make all other plans hanging...forever. is the world really this cruel?

the passing away of a person can lead us to realize alot of things we take for granted in our own lives. sad that you you left at such a young age...I would like to thank you for inspiring me to live life to the fullest and to constantly celebrate life day by day. I will miss you Joselu!!