Catching Dreams

Here I am again, feeling the stir. A restless heart that seem to be in search for meaning, to ask my questions and seek for the answers. I wish to go beyond the self, and share me to others as I usually have. To live wisely, love generously and praise loudly. And so I praise two people that despite all odds and pride, I know love me with all their heart.

It is not everyday that we realize how much our mother and father has contributed to our lives. Most of us in this generation go through that phase that we question the love our parents have for us. We judge them of being narrow-minded and authoritarian. What we fail to see is that, though it may be a cliché, all they want is what is best for us.

As I usually say, I wish life came with an instruction manual. We can read the how to’s when we are faced with a difficult situation. But then wouldn’t that take away the spontaneity of life and thus make us too boring?

Raising up a child is not easy. I have seen my parents do it to me and two brothers. I’ve seen the challenges and the sacrifices my friends had to make to rear up my two god-children, whom I consider as my own. With this I imagine, how difficult it could have been for my mama and papa to make me who I am today. They didn’t get instruction manuals either. I confess I didn’t make it easy for them. I was stubborn, I went by what I wanted and I rebelled. I broke their heart most of the time. And every time I did that I was also hurting myself for hurting the two people that love me the most.

I have been blessed. Because regardless of the ache I caused them, they were always willing to forgive and to surround me with support each time I fell down. I have been given parents that challenged me to experience life from different perspectives. They taught me that the needs will be provided for but that I must work for my wants. Through example they left me with the legacy of love, compassion and offering yourself for other people. Now I appreciate that the constant caravan to the next assignment location, which I despised as a young girl, educated me to be flexible and to understand the world in which we live in. A world that can be harsh, but nevertheless full of people that seek meaning in their lives. People that deserve our respect and understanding.

I have a father, who showed me what it was to be loyal and dedicated to any endeavor that you believe in. He gave me the gift of conversation and travel that no one can ever take away. He believed in what I can achieve, and felt sad when I give up. He was my trainer on what it is to be independent and being responsible for your actions. There was also my mother who taught me what it is to be a strong woman. She opened my heart & soul to the importance of music and art in one’s life. That crying didn’t mean weakness but instead being true to one’s emotions. She showed me that sacrifices have to be made at a point in our existence, and you can be happy after that.

This experience made me who I am today, a survivalist, someone who can exist in almost any situation. One that knows that in being open minded, there is also that responsibility to set limits. That ones freedom ends when we are going beyond the freedom of another individual. And though it took me a while to understand all of it, the credit is due them. I love you both.