That Time of the Year

It's that time of the year. When you feel that your whole system short circuits and you are left at your most vulnerable self. You want to get to your core and ask yourself if the year previous to this was any different the year before that. Sometimes it's just as simple as "Am I a better person?" But the answers always seen to be elusive at this time of the year, so maybe next year then? One of those mystifying cycles of life.

Maybe if I was...
Five or six, I would have looked forward to a party.
In highschool, it would have been a great time at the mall with my friends.
In college, I would have gone to a bar with my favorite band playing.

But I no longer am in these phases. So I guess this year I could try spending quality time alone with the celebrant...me.

Half Filled or Half Empty

Could it all boil down to attitude?

I was on that edge of either giving up or just going through it for the sake of the people that I would be turning my back on. Was I on the right track? Or should I just turn back now while I still had a fall back career. Or maybe I was asking the wrong questions.

Friends say that I needed to look into my priorities. Ask myself what is important and to probably stick to what would give me financial security. For a week there, I did let them get into my mind. I was seriously thinking of giving it all up. I thought I was loosing sight of the goal. But was happening is I was too fixed on the prize I was forgeting to enjoy the journey.

Maybe what I need is a change of attitude. That I should accept this as of now, sacrifice a little for what is to come and simply relish the experience in between the present and the dream cause I will never have a chance to relive that.

RANT on Paintball Politics

You know the people who have a heart for a sport when you see them SIMPLY promoting it rather than getting people on their side. Tournaments and events should be about getting people to play together and not getting them to choose who is the better organizer, or who gave the right amount of prize money.

They do not hide in the shadows of other nicknames but rather would speak their mind or confront in privacy the person who they think is at fault. They won't say things behind your back and smile when they're infront of you.

For a sport that still has a long way to go, why should there be camps? Why cant we just work hand in hand together for the growth of the paintball in OUR region? Do we really have say bad things about what others has done hoping to gain the sympathy of others? Isn't that just plain pathetic? Isn't that if you do not have anything good to say then just SHUT UP!?! Those that do business like this are the ones killing the development of the sport, instead of helping it.

Call me an idealist, but I really do want this sport to grow in player numbers and produce tournaments at par with the "big ones" here in the Asia-Pacific region. But if each tournament organizer is trying to out-shine and over power one another all because they have the capability or the money, then forget the goal. Cause after a certain time, tournaments will be too expensive to stage, that no one will be able to play in them anyway. Maybe you should ask yourselves...what are you really trying to do FOR the sport of paintball? Or does it really have to be about personal vendettas and gain??

A wise man from the United Kingdom told me in Malaysia that its not about who gets the bigger piece of the pie but rather how to make the pie bigger and bigger to accomodate everyone wanting a piece.

I would have to agree.

Touchdown Malaysia

I have arrived!! Currently at the Malaysian office and getting ready to go to my favorite mamak stall...STEVEN's CORNER!!!! Time for naan cheese and teh tarik!! Wahooo!!!!

I'll update everyone on the progress of my trip soon!!!