but it's mine

there is something that you want
you choose the path
and yet it seems the roads are long
the wait lead to questions
more and more questions lead you to doubt

and yet you tell yourself...
but this is MY dream

its based on how i see myself
and what i would want
it reflects my emotions
it has been shaped by my journeys
validated by the people i have met
shouldn't it be what i follow...
my own map to my own future...

can ones dream or personal legend be wrong?
if so how can we trust what is right?

and so it is...

thanks goes out to ivan
spamps and pangs
support group - mary, kai, ate tin
catorce sta. catalina posse

dream catching

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
Ill cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
Ill cross the stream - I have a dream
Ill cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
Ill cross the stream - I have a dream
Ill cross the stream - I have a dream

cycle of acceptance

to hope,
to want,
and gracefully accept the opposite.
this i know.

this is how it has been,
but hopefully how it will not always be.

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

Who would...

taken from A Cup of Jo

jammed up and overanalyzing

my head at this point
is like an intersection with a busted traffic light
every thought trying to get to their destination
only to be cut off by another rushing through
colliding into the incoming
each one trying to honk their horn
and flash their lights
its been like this for days
nothing comes through in one piece
utter chaos

my initial reaction - analyze and fix
nothing, so i analyze some more
till there is no more
and i am all thinked out
frustrated
stressed
i tired!

i dont know how the light got busted
and i definitely am clueless at how to fix it

what a way to start my year
i need to turn this around
*sounds the whistle*

Birthdays and Harvest Festivals

this is a very late post on kaamatan.
but i was surfing accent videos online and found this.
its actually is a nice song which describes the festival.

kaamatan is a harvest festival of the kadasan-dusun tribe of sabah.
each May the tribe celebrate it, each area of sabah a different date,
which makes a month long celebration.
last year, i was able to celebrate it in kota kinabalu
may 30, my birthday, and the entire KK also clebrates with me.
that makes it memorable.

if you get to be in Sabah this year, join in the fun.
the music, food and rice wines...
may 30 will always be a festival for them.
to me it's also celebrating and toasting to a generous harvest of life.

Need to Start Marketing Us

Its 2009!

so happy new year everyone.

i enjoy planning.
there's no better time to do this than the start of the year.
so for this week I will be planning out my entire year.
and who knows i may even write about it here as i go along.
i know i should have done this towards the end of december.
but cut me some slack cause it has been the most hectic 2 weeks in my life.
it seems everyone came home this year.
family friends that i havent seen for a long time
made a trip down from the US and Canada
indeed so many things, so little time.
one of things i need to do though, aside from finishing my Accent Reduction Module,
is to start looking for new clients.
the freelance world is all new to me,
but i am sure loving the challenge.

so i’ve been reading the Freelance Switch
and they have a very informative post on 101 Ideas to Get More Freelance Work.
this was very helpful.
i guess it’s about time
i get this business out there.