the other woman

but the other woman will always cry herself to sleep
the other woman will never have his love to keep
and as the years go by
the other woman
will spend her life alone

- jeff buckley

hearing the song

she told herself maybe she was the other woman
cause she did -without loosing her sense of self - what she could do to be near him
cause she rationalized his goodness beyond what it probably was
cause she wanted to show him how much bigger the world is

and then she sang the song again
and realized

she didn’t want to be alone
she wanted to take her own children to the beach
or have a kitchen that will let her make them almond-walnut pancakes
or have someone who she can talk to about her dreams
and who would, in turn tell her his

so she let him go

but what really stung her was
how through all this
he did make her feel like the other woman
because for the last time she thought
maybe he was fine where he was
maybe to him he needed someone who was nearer
maybe he had to settle into what was convenient
maybe he will be happy

cause that's all she wants for him --- to be happy