Wednesday, June 21, 2006

To Alystaire and Anjelsa...

since i missed both of your weddings
please be in mine...
whenever it is...
wherever it is...














i thought there would a miracle and
that i could make it to your wedding alystaire
but i guess i will never make it.
i wasn't at anjelsa's and now i'll miss yours.
and everytime it hits me, sadness just swallows me up
i feel i need to grasp for air, my eys cannot contain it
and the tears just fall.

you and anjelsa have always been part of who i am
and i always thought we would be sharing
if not most of our lives
at least the most significant parts
like weddings and our children being born
but i have not been able to be at any
and it has been difficult to accept.

i fear that the more i miss out on this occassions
the more distance it creates
and that eventually we also grow apart.

please no.
especially not the two of you.
i feel like i need some assurance.

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