Catching Dreams

I have gotten a chance to once again talk to a very good friend. People may question why I have remained friends with her but hey, she's good to me and I value her. She has proven that she can rise up from the waves that crash into her life, and these happen to be really HUGE waves, mind you. I trust her too, she's never failed me in that department. And I appreciate her objectivity. There was time she approached me to tell me about certain improvement points in managing people in my team and she actually made me cry. She told me how she felt whenever I would give her a project and it were valid feelings actually. I was crying because she was right and I did not know I made her feel such. Her opinions matter, when she talks I will definitely listen.

Now she is in my department and we have the same position. I was looking forward to this and I can very welll say she is capable. But she feels that she gone to war too prematurely. No ammunition, no instructions and no map whatsoever. I can say I've been there,done that. It's a very difficult situation to be in. It takes it toil on your emotional being as well as physical health. Talking to this friend made realize why people say I have changed.

I used to be very passionate with my job. Since I joined the company I knew what I wanted- be Trainer. I had my eyes set on that goal from the beginning. All my efforts had a reason. It wasnt long that my efforts were acknowledge. I was promoted to Training Specialist by March of this year. I felt I had achieved. I was on top of the world. What I didnt know was that it was a start of another bumpy road.

The Training Department had alot of responsibilities and like my friend I had to adjust otherwise. The greatest challenge came from the fact that we had to learn in a limited amount of time and there was only two of us doing everything. I am a workaholic so naturally I tried to do evrything I can accomoidate. Guess I took in so much. Because midway into the year I feel so burnt out. Everything is just going haywire. My health, the relationship with my father and giving time to those I call friends. As my mother would say "Mhay, your strecting yourself too thin again!" Well I guess its a viscious cycle I go through. That I give too much only to find myself gasping for air at the end. I should start learning from those marathon runners on how to sustain and endure the long journey.

Its really hard. Right now I am trying to make a paradigm shift. To be able to do pacing in order for me to survive the loong trek to the top. I would rather it be slowly yet surely. I am also re-evaluating the career options I have in other industries so not restrict myself. I really do see myself in more arts and culture related field. We'll see. As I said I am not in a rush. I will pray about this.