Catching Dreams

While writing this I am talking to my soul sister Jeanette on the phone. She had to endure a long conversation with a person I don't really know how to treat like now. I am in a confused stage. I will be honest here. I will try to confront myself. To finally say what I want to say. If ever there will be reactions that is your opinion. And I may respect your opinions but that is "MY" call. What I will write here is what I FEEL! And when a person feels something you cannot contend with that and rob them of experiencing "EMOTIONS."

Right now I have to face my own skeletons and stand up to what I believe in. Alot of things have happend around me. And its as if everything has slipped our noses. I feel betrayed, there I said it after a long struggle between my heart and mind. You ask why? Its because as I told Jeanette, all the words exchanged, the blogs, emails and the feelings expressed all of these are just shaking my relationship with my Soul Sisters. Not to mention testing my integrity and character in the workplace. But what really gripes my heart is that fact that it involves someone who I thought I could trust. And it was shattered by the fact that this person didn't even tell us what was happening. I treated him like family, like a brother, and it wouldnt have been difficult to tell me what was happening, what he was feeling.

I really can't put a finger on the reason why everything had to reach "this level." All I know is that there is something NOT right. There have been words spoken that have pierced the hearts. Actions that have not been consistent. All these are just rushing into my brain and right now I would just want to contemplate. If I can only run to Galera like my sis Jeanette, I would. I wish I could just lay on the beach and watch the sunset. Or be on the rockies, sit there and hear the waves crash against them. In short I just want to be away and search for the reason of all the turmoil that's happening.

Well for now, think nalang ako and pray.