Catching Dreams

Mumblings and Musings...

If I would take a look inside myself and be honest with my current state of mind, body and soul, I would say I am very LOST! My operative words as of the moment would include negativity, confusion, spaced-out, huh, what-was-that-again-I'm-sorry, and other synonyms that - as of the time i am writing this- I just cannot find the words to express. Not to mention I am constantly bombarding myself with a questions. Heart is asking my mind and my mind is not just insync with my heart right now and since both play an important role in my decison making then you see where the dilemna comes from.

I don't want to blame anyone or anything with all the instability in in my life right now. If only I can shut my mouth (which is a very hard feat) and go away to a place of solitude wherein positive energy abounds, I would just like to think and contemplate. In this way I can actually avoid saying things I may regret later. But hello! Reality check DreamCatcher. I have a job that I really need to keep as of the moment. It is my only source of money. And just to remind everyone, we do need money to survive. Yet I stress and convince myself I really do need to reflect on my decisions and reactions to the stimulus that "life" has given me. Personal as well as professional. Otherwise the white flag will be raised to depression. And that is something I do not want to think about. I will never surrender, after everything I have accomplished, not now!

I need to carefully weigh all the committments I get myself into. I cannot really say if this is another hang-up because of the life I led, fact is I tend to slow down when there is a need to commit. It is apparent even at work. Blah....blah...blah.... I don't know how pathetic I can be. I say these things about slowing down but when my friends asked me to move in with them I imediately (take note, not even pausing) say YES! So now I am moving in with them. In an apartment in Quezon City, with Jeannette & Josh and Ivy, my bestfriend.

Unbelievable it may seem. However these is how I have played my cards. Let's just see what happens in the next few days. As things unfold each day, may I walk in the path led by the Great Spirit. I need to...