Catching Dreams

people have a way of hiding their truest emotions. like we put on a performance for people everyday. we have mastered the art of putting on make-up making ourselves presentable and going through our daily duties with skill. smiling and running around. but what we do not know is what happens to these people when they are in their own rooms. far from the audience's scrutinizing stares. it is then that the facade is removed, and we are stripped down to our barest soul.

there can be two reactions once the soul is exposed. that of belief and that of it being a lie. if we choose belief then we can actually connect and embrace the waves of emotions. or we can pretend its a lie, since that character has been tediously kept a secret. shoved into the closet each day before stepping out into - what we call- the real world. slowly that persona dies, and as we put it they become skeletons in our closet. memories, personalities or characters that once was a part of us, yet knowing people will and may react negatively we hide them. until the time we have to clean it out.

i have my own skeletons that i kept out of site. being emotional. the insecurity that i might never be sucessful. the fear that i end up being alone. of not meeting the standards my parents have set. of not making my father proud of me. of being a daughter instead of a son. i let these control me. either giving too much to cover up or giving too little so as not be expected much of.

now i open that closet door. like a pandora's box everything is released. to be able to face each one and set the record straight. it time to be able to move on. to realize that i have grown weary by the daily performance i put up with for 25 years. no more I say. this is me. i have survived things that other people may not understand. it has been a battle for my sanity. now it will be a fight to live the life given to me. to be able to truly say I have made the most of my life.

we will never know when it is time. what matters is the memories you leave behind. to bring a smile to a friends face when they look back at your life. to make the memory of each time spent immortal, kept safe in each heart's journal and scrapbook. each entry priceless...so now I live each moment to the fullest...my audience may say i am emotional yet that is no longer what i live for. indeed i am drama. i have heard my soul music and i will now dance to it with gusto...