Catching Dreams

From Ribbons to High-heeled Shoes

I hate goodbyes. When I heard Binocular’s “Don’t Say Goodbye, Say Goodnight” I loved the song. Another thought bubble I can sing to. And now it has been playing in my mind over and over.

A part of my life is moving away. Did I say a significant part of my life? She’s moving for good to work in the US and little does she know, but it has been tearing me up inside. I grew up with this person. Our parent’s were friends for so long and we were even born in the same year. We were the three little girls that grew up in Sunday School. We have managed to lead different lives but in the depths of our soul we know we are connected. They were the sisters I never had. I was the first to move away. I lived in Cebu for two whole years. We coped well. We wrote each other letters and called it the Rainbow Writer’s Club. Why the name? It’s a child thing. When I came back, it was like I never moved away. Not too much emotional dependence yet.

We went from ribbons to high-heeled shoes. And then it was Anjelsa’s turn to move away. She went with her family to move to the US. It was hard because this was the time that we wanted more sleep-overs and talk about why we started feeling icky with boys. She wrote a lot. Sent mounds of pictures. I felt I was there with her. Meanwhile Alystaire and I had our own share of growing up.

Our friendship is different. We never went to the same school. We had different set of friends. We only saw each other Sundays and special occasions. But we were close. Our families were close too. It wasn’t the same going into womanhood with one so far away. But we managed. There was email. Then there were the phone calls (by now we could afford it). Keeping in touch was sporadic but it always a special event to hear from her. Alystaire was our link. Whenever she would travel to the US she would bring pictures of the Philippines and when she got back there were more pictures of her and Angelsa. Even videos. Then Angelsa got married.

It almost killed me that I wasn’t there for her wedding. You know how as girls we always planned out our weddings and knew who had to be there. I was supposed to be there. I tried so hard to get a passport and Visa. But it wasn’t that easy. I had to content myself with the pictures and video. It was not the same. I missed a very special event that no one can bring back. But we kept in touch. I called the day of the wedding and just cried. And now it’s Alystaire’s turn to move away.

Lately, we have been sharing parts of our life that we thought the other would not be able to understand. We started to open up our little pandora’s box. It strengthened the bond. It’s not everyday that we see each other. But we know that when one is going through a “crisis” the other will be there to listen. It was me she called when she broke up from a long relationship. She was the first person I confessed when I was falling for this guy. It will different without her near. I don’t even know if she knows how much she means to me. But we have to move on. At least they will still have each other. And now they can call me more often! Humor keeps me from getting all mushy. So now to lessen the blow, don’t say goodbye….say goodnight. It makes me go back to that time we were jumping up and down our beds.

To the two of you who I have shared my entire life, I definitely miss you. I look forward to a day we can all be together and talk about what our life has become. Live life to the fullest and may the same God we believe in be our guide and link our hearts. I love you both so dearly! Mizpah is all I say!