Just finished watching “Die Another Day” in Megamall. Being in the area I just couldn’t resist the temptation of returning to “a familiar place.” A place I called home, where I used to be seen so frequently. A not-so-secret-garden wherein I can take the time and look into myself, sans the chaos of the world. Amidst the strangers around, I shut out. With my coffee and luckies I retreat into the depths of my soul. It is now that I can look back at the new puzzle pieces I have collected from this so-called-life I lead. Unusually, the typical crowds I bump into are not here, a sign that I need this “alone time.”
In fact, there is a need for me to restore my “alone time.” It used to be my Sabbath, a pause from a long week, to refresh my mind. Every Sunday evening at this same place, armed with a good book and my raspberry tea I sit and reminisce. Then work took over. My tired body would rather retreat and sleep than go to Ortigas for a cup of tea. Though I get to do that at home, being here is different. This is my “thinking ground,” a spot to analyze and fit the new pieces into my life puzzle.
Yes, I view life as a puzzle. Each event, person and situation is a puzzle piece. I do not know when I will get to see the whole picture, but it is a work in progress. There are some parts that are coming into view and make out a clear portrait but there are more scattered pieces that at this point do not make sense at all. As days unfold I get a section here and there. But it is during my “alone time” that I get to piece them together. Unfortunately I haven’t had that hiatus from work long enough to do so. How I long for Puerto Galera and its rejuvenating powers. This is probably the reason why I feel that my life is so cluttered. A fragment here…chunks there and I don’t understand their value to the whole puzzle. But things happen for a reason as I always say, but lately I have not sat down and taken the time to realize the bigger picture. Where am I now? Am I still on the right course? Did I take a wrong turn? How do I stand up from having tripped over a rock? What do I do next?
Too preoccupied to even pause and reflect. I feel my decisions have been done haphazardly. I am no longer dancing to the beat of my own drum, rather to that of the people I want to make an impression. I seem to have lost me.
Great Spirit, I call for wisdom and peace of mind once again. Sustain the energy to press on toward the goal. Reaffirm my dreams and aspirations. Teach my heart to be steadfast. Take my hand, and lead me back into the world with the assurance that you have a destiny set out for me. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment