I feel uneasy tonight. Its like there has been a cloud above my head. That I have the tendency to attachment myself to something or someone. Its like when I am given attention over a prolonged period of time, I feel like I would die if I won't be able to see the person or talk to him. I do not even know the real score. I do not even know his real motives. Its like the instinct and power of being a discerning woman has been blinded and now I feel so disoriented. Almost immobilized.
Maybe there is that longing within. It could be that my soft spot has been reached and I am left vulnerable. I have the tendency to mistake this as falling in love and wishing it he could be the one. Hoping I am right this time. That I have found true love. But experience has taught me well. I learned to build a wall to stop my myself from taking the leap, guess I am too slow at times. Little do I know I have taken the plunge, not evening knowing if he would catch me below. Then I dust off the dirt on my clothes and realize there was no one there. I took the fall alone. Darn the feeling of betrayal, not aimed at him or anyone else but at me. I ask my heart why it has not sensed this pain coming? Enough tattoes on my mind!! I don't need them. Never again?? Maybe not...its all up to fate...
This is the last about this feeling for now...I am too tired.
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